Not only does she have a stove and a deep freeze, but both of them are brand-new. Now, I will admit that I bought those for her myself. But the point is that they are in her house, so she owns them. "Poor" my ass. If she was truly poor, she'd cook all of her meals over a campfire that she stole from someone else. A thousand tax dollars says she owns an iPhone too.
Jesus Tiny Baby God, I think I'm going to be sick. Look at that technical marvel. It has buttons and everything! How does she afford a brand-new iPhone like that when there's health care to worry about? Has ... has my mom broke bad? Is she doing some bad-breaking on the side? I mean, she has to be, right? There's no way she can afford this stuff without being a drug dealer. I searched around her place for proof, and ... BAM!
Oh my Tax God of the Dollarverse, what is going on? I thought I knew my mother, but this is too much. Here I am, working 7,000 hours per week in order to give the government money, who in turn gives it to her, and she's hoarding baskets of drugs like some sort of ... drug hoarder. This is the true face of drug-fueled poverty right here, sheeple, and you need to wake up.
I mean, for Dollar's sake, she's living a life so consumed by luxury that she has a toilet in her living room:
It's just lazy, and she doesn't even care. I decided to take action at that point. I grabbed her poop chair and stormed off to the bathroom to put it where it belongs. When I burst through the door, what I saw pushed me past my breaking point:
Her sink was dripping a steady stream of water, like she didn't even care that it was costing me money. Costing all of us money. When I asked her about it, she made up some bullshit excuse about not having the money to get it fixed, and that's when I finally broke, sat down and told her about Jason Chaffetz's financial philosophy.
"Look," I said. "You're going to have to start making some sacrifices if you want to have fancy things like heath care and food. It's not up to the government to make sure you're taken care of. This is your choice. You have a personal responsibility to get out there and earn your keep. You want medication? Then you're going to have to sell your refrigerator. You want air conditioning when it hits 100 degrees this summer? Then you need to un-paralyze yourself and sell your microwave, just like everybody else. So far, you've been getting away with living life well beyond your means, but it has to stop."
Then I stomped my mother's phone into dust, because the way I see it, that was bought with my tax dollars, and I get to decide what she owns and what she doesn't. Thanks, Fox News, for opening my eyes. And thank you, Jason Chaffetz, for finally making me realize what a mooching fuckface my mother is.
For more check out 5 BS Myths About Being Poor You Believe Thanks To The Media and 5 Telltale Signs You Grew Up In Poverty.
And be sure to check out Wake Up In A Horror Movie? Here's What You Need To Know....
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