Have you ever been caught doing something that, out of context, seemed totally suspicious? Here, mortified people share their worst "this isn't what it looks like!" moments.
1/25. I was a swim coach for teenage high school girls when I was in my mid twenties. The job often required getting in the pool, demonstrating swim strokes, etc.
I was at the mall, and I saw one of my students walking towards me with her parents. I said hello to her twice before she noticed me, and once she realized who I was she said, "Oh hey [my name], I didn't recognize you with all of your clothes on!"
2/25. I was masturbating with a blanket covering my body, when my cat came up and sat on my chest. My brother walked in and saw. I hope he doesn't think I was jerking it to the cat.
3/25. A few years ago, I (22-year-old male) took my 4-year-old nephew for a walk to a park near my house. After a few minutes of running around, he tells me he needs to pee. Since we had just gotten there and I didn't want to walk back already, I told him we could find a place for him to pee outside. I guess my sister had never done this with him before, and I'll never forget the look of pure excitement on his face when I told him he was allowed to pee outside.
We walk to the end of the park so we're not around too many people, and I tell him he can pee behind this bush in front of us. Now he is having trouble getting his pants unbuttoned, so I go behind the bush and proceed to help him get his pants pulled down.
Well right as I was doing this, some little kid, probably about 10, had thrown his football right near this bush where my nephew was peeing, and when he ran over to get it, he saw me bending over and struggling to pull a four years olds pants off behind a bush.
He runs away screaming to his mom about a creepy guy touching some little boy behind the bush, and I just made my nephew hurry up and we got the hell outta there before there was any confrontation. It still makes me laugh to think about.
4/25. One time I was helping out my girlfriend in her office at the Microsoft building where we both worked. While she typed away, I was under her desk (one of those table things with no sides), fumbling with Ethernet cables.
A gaggle of office gossips came in to talk to my gf, and from the conversation, I realized they had no idea I was under there. Eventually one of them saw me, and I emerged, and they were all...unduly delighted. And thus was the myth of my office cunnilingus born.
5/25. Years ago, my good friend landed his first girlfriend and was pretty psyched about it. He was also hanging on to dear life with this girl and would rarely bring her around the rest of his friends. This kinda annoyed us and so we purposefully tried to embarrass him one time.
His family never locked the house so it was natural for any of his friends to let ourselves in. He would come home and one of us would be there, watching TV or something. No knock policy. We took advantage of this while he was out with his girlfriend one night and also while his parents were out of town.
We let ourselves in, went to the basement and dug up old Halloween costumes they had over the years. An astronaut costume, a crayon, a caveman, a donkey, and a Hulk Hogan costume. Then we hid around the room and waited until he got home.
Eventually we hear the door open and everyone is tickled to death that he's going to come downstairs and see all of us in these ridiculous costumes. The door to the room opens and we hear footsteps coming downstairs. The lights turn on and
It's his grandparents.
They were checking on the house, just making sure nothing was left on while the parents were on vacation and they saw all of us standing there in these costumes. It was awkward for a good 10 seconds until someone tried to explain we were pranking their grandson before he got home.